I have always believed that there is no perfect way to do anything, but there is always a right way. You know that things are being done right when respect is a key component. When respect is absent everything falls apart. When people talk over you. When your voice is lost in the shuffle. When people tell you one thing and then do another. Is that who I am to some people? Do I appear weak? I have been beaten down time and time again and I have endured. But enduring is not the same thing as living. Being told that you are respected is not the same thing as being respected. Doing as someone asks day after day because that is what is common, that is what is familiar. You meet people that lift you up, but you also end up inviting back into your life the same type of people that you once banished from it.
Change is the key. But people don’t like that do they? People come to expect the same things from you day after day. People want you to smile the same smile and respond in the usual fashion, because the moment that you change…they just don’t know what to make of you. It is easier to toss people into categories, much easier by far than to think of people as ever-changing. Sometimes we are guilty of staying the same for the people in our lives because we know just how jarring change can be. We live for other people and often those people are not even the most dear to us. Without knowing it we set aside a large portion of our energy just to maintain that usual self for others. All of that energy wasted on being someone that you would rather leave behind, someone who is no longer you. As if on stage we play an outdated version of ourselves and when we go out to bow at the end of our performance we can catch a glimpse of our real self sitting in the audience shaking its head in disapproval. We all hold back. We all accept less respect than we deserve. We all play our roles when we shouldn’t. But we can change. We can find ditch the actor and be the person, but only if we are prepared for what may come.